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Another Viral Letter - Even Better Than The Last One

My friend Rock has sent me another excellent letter – also going viral. This one is signed. I visited the Blogspot blog for the writer and it is posted there on his blog (The Old Jarhead) - linked here:

http://tartanmarine.blogspot.com/2009/02/robert.html                                          

If anything, this letter is even better than the one I recently posted, the “I Don’t Care” letter by a New Jersey woman. He is a Marine, a Viet Nam vet and did time in the Massachusetts Senate – so he’s a real person, not some anonymous, unidentifiable entity. He is one of us.

I'm Tired

Robert A. Hall

I'll be 63 soon.  Except for one semester in college when jobs were scarce, and a six-month period when I was between jobs, but job-hunting every day, I've worked, hard, since I was 18.  Despite some health challenges, I still put in 50-hour weeks, and haven't called in sick in seven or eight years.  I make a good salary, but I didn't inherit my job or my income, and I worked to get where I am.  Given the economy, there's no retirement in sight, and I'm tired.  Very tired.

I'm tired of being told that I have to "spread the wealth around" to people who don't have my work ethic.  I'm tired of being told the government will take the money I earned, by force if necessary, and give it to people too lazy or stupid to earn it.

I'm tired of being told that I have to pay more taxes to "keep people in their homes."  Sure, if they lost their jobs or got sick, I'm willing to help.  But if they bought Mc Mansions at three times the price of our paid-off, $250,000 condo, on one-third of my salary, then let the left wing Congress critters who passed Fannie and Freddie and the Community Reinvestment Act that created the bubble help them with their own money.

I'm tired of being told how bad America is by left wing millionaires like Michael Moore, George Soros and Hollywood entertainers who live in luxury because of the opportunities America offers.  In thirty years, if they get their way, the United States will have the religious freedom and women's rights of Saudi Arabia, the economy of Zimbabwe, the freedom of the press of China, the crime and violence of Mexico, the tolerance for Gay people of Iran, and the freedom of speech of Venezuela.  Won't multiculturalism be beautiful?

I'm tired of being told that Islam is a "Religion of Peace," when every day I can read dozens of stories of Muslim men killing their sisters, wives and daughters for their family "honor"; of Muslims rioting over some slight offense; of Muslims murdering Christian and Jews because they aren't "believers"; of Muslims burning schools for girls; of Muslims stoning teenage rape victims to death for "adultery"; of Muslims mutilating the genitals of little girls; all in the name of Allah, because the Qurâ Tan and Shariâ Ta law tells them to.

I believe a man should be judged by the content of his character, not by the color of his skin.  I'm tired of being told that "race doesn't matter" in the post-racial world of President Obama, when it's all that matters in affirmative action jobs, lower college admission and graduation standards for minorities (harming them the most), government contract set-asides, tolerance for the ghetto culture of violence and fatherless children that hurts minorities more than anyone, and in the appointment of US Senators from Illinois.  I think it's very cool that we have a black president and that a black child is doing her homework at the desk where Lincoln wrote the emancipation proclamation.  I just wish the black president was Condi Rice, or someone who believes more in freedom and the individual and less in an all-knowing government.

I'm tired of a news media that thinks Bush's fundraising and inaugural expenses were obscene, but that think Obama's, at triple the cost, were wonderful.  That thinks Bush exercising daily was a waste of presidential time, but Obama exercising is a great example for the public to control weight and stress, that picked over every line of Bush's military records, but never demanded that Kerry release his, that slammed Palin with two years as governor for being too inexperienced for VP, but touted Obama with three years as senator as potentially the best president ever.

Wonder why people are dropping their subscriptions or switching to Fox News?  Get a clue.  I didn't vote for Bush in 2000, but the media and Kerry drove me to his camp in 2004.

I'm tired of being told that out of "tolerance for other cultures" we must let Saudi Arabia use our oil money to fund mosques and madrassa Islamic schools to preach hate in America, while no American group is allowed to fund a church, synagogue or religious school in Saudi Arabia to teach love and tolerance.

I'm tired of being told I must lower my living standard to fight global warming, which no one is allowed to debate.  My wife and I live in a two-bedroom apartment and carpool together five miles to our jobs.  We also own a three-bedroom condo where our daughter and granddaughter live.  Our carbon footprint is about 5% of Al Gore's, and if you're greener than Gore, you're green enough.

I'm tired of being told that drug addicts have a disease, and I must help support and treat them, and pay for the damage they do.  Did a giant germ rush out of a dark alley, grab them, and stuff white powder up their noses while they tried to fight it off?  I don't think Gay people choose to be Gay, but I damn sure think druggies chose to take drugs.  And I'm tired of harassment from cool people treating me like a freak when I tell them I never tried marijuana.

I'm tired of illegal aliens being called "undocumented workers," especially the ones who aren't working, but are living on welfare or crime.  What's next?  Calling drug dealers, "Undocumented Pharmacists?"  And, no, I'm not against Hispanics.  Most of them are Catholic and it's been a few hundred years since Catholics wanted to kill me for my religion.  I'm willing to fast track for citizenship any Hispanic person who can speak English, doesn't have a criminal record and who is self-supporting without family on welfare, or who serves honorably for three years in our military.  Those are the citizens we need.

I'm tired of latte liberals and journalists, who would never wear the uniform of the Republic themselves, or let their entitlement-handicapped kids near a recruiting station, trashing our military.  They and their kids can sit at home, never having to make split-second decisions under life and death circumstances, and bad mouth better people then themselves.  Do bad things happen in war?  You bet.  Do our troops sometimes misbehave?  Sure.  Does this compare with the atrocities that were the policy of our enemies for the last fifty years?  And still are?  Not even close.  So here's the deal.  I'll let myself be subjected to all the humiliation and abuse that was heaped on terrorists at Abu Ghraib or Gitmo, and the critics can let themselves be subject to captivity by the Muslims who tortured and beheaded Daniel Pearl in Pakistan, or the Muslims who tortured and murdered Marine Lt. Col. William Higgins in Lebanon, or the Muslims who ran the blood-spattered Al Qaeda torture rooms our troops found in Iraq, or the Muslims who cut off the heads of schoolgirls in Indonesia, because the girls were Christian.  Then we'll compare notes.  British and American soldiers are the only troops in history that civilians came to for help and handouts, instead of hiding from in fear.

I'm tired of people telling me that their party has a corner on virtue and the other party has a corner on corruption.  Read the papers... bums are bi-partisan.  And I'm tired of people telling me we need bi-partisanship.  I live in Illinois, where the "Illinois Combine" of Democrats and Republicans has worked together harmoniously to loot the public for years.  And I notice that the tax cheats in Obama's cabinet are bi-partisan as well.

I'm tired of hearing wealthy athletes, entertainers and politicians of both parties talking about innocent mistakes, stupid mistakes or youthful mistakes, when we all know they think their only mistake was getting caught.  I'm tired of people with a sense of entitlement, rich or poor..

Speaking of poor, I'm tired of hearing people with air-conditioned homes, color TVs and two cars called poor.  The majority of Americans didn't have that in 1970, but we didn't know we were "poor."  The poverty pimps have to keep changing the definition of poor to keep the dollars flowing.

I'm real tired of people who don't take responsibility for their lives and actions.  I'm tired of hearing them blame the government, or discrimination, or big-whatever for their problems.

Yes, I'm damn tired.  But I'm also glad to be 63.  Because, mostly, I'm not going to get to see the world these people are making.  I'm just sorry for my granddaughter.

 He blogs at: http://www.tartanmarine.blogspot.com

Pesky Truth Postscript: I won’t add anything here, except that I fully agree with his sentiments – otherwise, I don’t want to detract from the letter itself.
 
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Strong Sentiments

Since this letter is going viral, you may have already seen it – if so, just disregard it. I had not seen it, but I do wholeheartedly agree with all of the statements made and thought that others may agree as well. BTW, emphasis is mine, added to the letter text.

It was sent to me by my old friend, Marvin.

Called “Letter from one 'Angry Woman'”, I don't know who wrote it but they should have signed it.  This woman should run for president. It was supposedly written by a housewife from New Jersey and sounds like it! This is one ticked off lady.

~~~

Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001?

Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan, across the Potomac from our nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning? And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was 'desecrated' when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet? ...Well, I don't. I don't
care at all.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11. I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime in Saudi Arabia

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for chopping off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat

I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Iraq come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide. I'll care when the American media stops pretending that their First Amendment liberties are somehow derived from international law instead of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this: I don't care.

When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked Iraqi prisoners who have been humiliated in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank: I don't care...

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and fed 'special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts: I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran' and other times 'Quran.' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and-you guessed it-I don't care!!

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behavior!

If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, and then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country!

And may I add: 'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem' - Ronald Reagan.

I have another quote that I would like to add AND.......I hope you forward all this. 'If we ever forget that we're One Nation Under God, then we will be a nation gone under.' Also by - Ronald Reagan

One last thought for the day:

In case we find our selves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England's Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview. When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America, he said: 'A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how many want in... And how many want out.'

The last thing, by the way, that we should do is to elect a Muslim as President of the United States, someone who claims to love America yet, WILL NOT salute the flag, WILL NOT pledge allegiance to our flag, and sat in a church listening to a 'pastor' that HATES America! Are you Freakin' kidding me?

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:
1. Jesus Christ
2. The American G. I.

One died for your soul, the other for your freedom. Many seem to have forgotten this.
 
~~~

A Pesky Truth postscript: How can anyone call themselves an “American” and not agree with this lady’s letter? When we see the “Intellectual Elite” in this country turn God into a four-letter word, when the mainstream media extols the virtues of Islam and denigrates Christianity, when we don’t care about unborn babies and begin to accept the “gay lifestyle” as being the equal to heterosexuality, something has gone very wrong with this country.

While few conservatives contributed directly to this abhorrent behavior, we have added and abetted these transgressions by inaction. It is PAST the time to take our country back. Take it back from the liberals, the extreme left, and the Socialists and return to the United States of Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson – and of Ronald Reagan.

It is not yet too late … but the clock is ticking.
 
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Firearm Industry Makes Nice with Gun Foes

In the interest of “can’t we all just get along-ism,” firearm manufacturer Smurf & Westing has released a new revolver model.

Called the “Eliminator,” and chambered in .44 Magnum, it is designed especially for liberals and lefties of the Brady variety. The revolver is designed to accomplish a “one shot, one hit” result every time it is aimed and fired by a liberal.

We firearm enthusiasts should show our support for our gun-hating foes by encouraging them to acquire the revolver and insist that they try it out at a local range. I think that we can guarantee that they will no longer voice their displeasure with guns (or anything else for that matter).

Liberal Gun
 
 

According to a Marine Pilot:


In addition to communicating with the local Air Traffic Control facility, all aircraft in the Persian Gulf AOR are required to give the Iranian Air Defense Radar (military) a ten minute 'heads up' if they will be transiting Iranian airspace.


This is a common procedure for commercial aircraft and involves giving them your call sign, transponder code, type aircraft, and points of origin and destination.

 
I just flew with a guy who overheard this conversation on the VHF Guard (emergency) frequency 121.5 MHz while flying from Europe to Dubai. It's too good not to pass along. The conversation went something like this...


Iranian Air Defense Radar: 'Unknown aircraft at (location unknown), you are in Iranian airspace. Identify yourself.'

Aircraft: 'This is a United States aircraft. I am in Iraqi airspace.'

Iranian Air Defense Radar: 'You are in Iranian airspace. If you do not depart our airspace we will launch interceptor aircraft!'

Aircraft: 'This is a United States Marine Corps FA-18 fighter. Send 'em up, I'll wait!'

Iranian Air Defense Radar: (no response ... total silence)
 
F-18
 
Semper Fi Thanx to my friend Rock (a marine) for sending this to me!
 
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Incorporating an image in your post

First the disclaimer: I’m not an expert at this – I succeeded in getting it to work just yesterday after contacting several other Townhall bloggers for help. None of them had been successful using images and didn’t know exactly how to do it.

I was given some useful tips by Chris (at Townhall) and finally, by trial and error, I was able to get three images in a post. So, thinking that others might want to utilize this new capability, I thought that I’d write some (minimal) instructions.

Finally, realize that I too am a rookie at this and while I’ll do what I can to help, I’m unlikely to have many answers for anything outside of my own experiences.

This method apparently works on any of the prominent image types you’re likely to run across – GIF, BMP, and JPG. I have one of each in my post and each displays correctly.
 
If you want to see the post referred to in this document, here it is: Trust Me

Step One. The first and most important step is that the image must be hosted.

Apparently, you can’t just cut/copy the image from its source and paste it into the Townhall post editor. That’s what I tried and I couldn’t make it work. If anyone has found a way to use a simple copy/paste, please enlighten us all, ‘cause I was not successful doing that. It did look like it allocated space for an image – but the image never displayed.

So, again, you must upload the image to a hosting site. I used Photobucket.com but I’m told that Flickr.com also works. The hosting is free; you just have to sign up as a member. Since I used Photobucket, all of the following comments refer to how it was done using that site’s link code – I don’t know what/how Flickr provides to support image hosting – but probably something similar.

Once the image is in place on Photobucket, you link to it using the HTML they provide.

After the initial session, when you return to Photobucket, you’ll have to click on “My Albums,” then “Albums and Upload” to get to your images. Once the image(s) display, double-click the one you want to use and when it expands into a new window. You’ll copy the “Image Link Code” in the lower right part of the window into your post.

They provide four sets of link code - use the HTML code for “websites and blogs.” Simply copy the entire line of code by clicking in the box and CTRL “C”. Make sure you get it all since there is more code than can be shown in the size of the display field.

Now comes Step Two - the other shoe drops – kerTHUD.

Now you’ve got to paste the HTML code you picked up from Photobucket into the HTML generated by your Townhall post. To do that, you’ve got to switch the editor display from “Normal” (the default) to “HTML.” Do that by clicking HTML down at the lower left corner of the editor.

You’ll see the normal text display change to Etruscan or Sanskrit or something practically unreadable. You can actually make out your English words intermingled with assorted special characters (>, <, /, etc.). You’re on your own when it comes to locating the exact spot to paste in your HTML, but it will probably follow an end of paragraph (</p>) – and insert before the next new paragraph (<p>).

In my post, I just located the sentence that said, “Here is a graphic illustration of the “shovel-ready” contents of the democrat’s “stimulus bill” and pasted the Photobucket HTML immediately following that point (with a CTRL “V”).

Once your HTML image link is pasted into your post, you can Publish it and verify that all is ok. Returning to “Normal” before Publishing or leaving the edit display in “HTML” doesn’t seem to affect the outcome.

So, that is what worked for me – I hope it works for you as well. Good luck!

Thanx to Chris Regal who read over these instructions and “blessed” them, he was a big help.
 
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Trust Me, They Say (And We're Supposed To?)

Shovel-Ready

As in, infrastructure projects that are ready or almost ready to begin, the antithesis of some dimly imagined earmark or budget-sucking bridge to nowhere. Then-president-elect Obama used the term on a December 7th visit to NBC’s Meet the Press, describing the kinds of projects that would be supported by the upcoming economic stimulus bill.

Here is a graphic illustration of the “shovel-ready” contents of the democrat’s “stimulus bill.”

Shovel-readySource: Michael Ramirez of Investors Business Daily

~~~

Climate Change

Have you noticed how conveniently the old “sky is falling” caption changed from “global warming” to “climate change”?

Why? That’s easy, because it is difficult to convince the uninformed masses that the planet is warming at an alarming rate when the past twelve months have exhibited a cooler-than-normal climate and we’ve had more ice, snow, and blizzards than usual this winter.

So, rather than admit that their hypothesis may be faulty, they changed the designation to one that is less precise….

Taking a page from the Obama playbook, they threw the term “global warming” under the bus and are now explaining how we misheard or misinterpreted what they were saying – they really meant that the climate was changing – not necessarily just heating up – just changing.

Right.

How about this:
 

With wit, smarts and hope, AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH ultimately brings home Gore's persuasive argument that we can no longer afford to view global warming as a political issue - rather, it is the biggest moral challenges facing our global civilization.

 

“The vast majority of scientists agree that global warming is real, it’s already happening and that it is the result of our activities and not a natural occurrence. The evidence is overwhelming and undeniable.”

Source: climatecrisis.net

Well, I don’t know how many “scientists” are qualified to express a knowledgeable opinion about global warming, but consider this:

More than 31,072 scientists across the U.S. – including more than 9,021 Ph.D.s in fields such as atmospheric science, climatology, Earth science, environment and dozens of other specialties – have signed a petition rejecting “global warming,” the assumption that the human production of greenhouse gases is damaging Earth’s climate.

Source: petitionproject,org

Just what exactly did these 31,072 scientists agree to – what did the petition say?

Following is an image of the petition that was signed by 31,072 scientists:

Photobucket

I don’t think that anyone (including those 31,072 scientists) would disagree that our climate is changing – Holy Moley! It is? Duh … we know that. The question is: what’s causing the change? Al Gore says I am, you are, we are – we humans are. What are the chances he is wrong? I’m still waiting to see the publication of (at least) 31,073 scientist’s names who are willing to go on the record as saying that we are the cause – where are they?

Maybe I’m being obtuse, but when we’re told that the “vast majority” of scientists agree that we are the cause of global warming, and we have 31,072 who have publicly gone on record as disagreeing, pardon me if I’m skeptical.

Yet, we (the taxpayers) are supposed to accept without question the left’s assertion that there is no longer any question, that the verdict is “overwhelming and undeniable,” that we are at fault and be prepared to shell out more funds to address a problem that may not even exist.

I say “bovine excrement.”

~~~

New York City Taxpayers

New York state and city revenues are falling amid the collapse of Wall Street, and state lawmakers in Albany are considering income tax hikes for households earning between $250,000 and $1 million, who already pay 6.85% to the state.

Meanwhile, the New York Post reports that City Council Speaker Christine Quinn wants to increase the city's top tax rate of 3.68% for households earning as little as $297,000 (to 4.25%); those earning $532,000 to $1.2 million would pay 4.45%; and above that 4.65%.

But late last week Mayor Bloomberg said that raising taxes on high earners could drive them from the city. "One percent of the households that file in this city pay something like 50% of the taxes," explained the Mayor. "In the city, that's something like 40,000 people. If a handful left, any raise would make it revenue neutral. The question is what's fair. If 1% are paying 50% of the taxes, you want to make it even more?"

Did you get that? About 40,000 households in New York City pay 50% of the taxes. That equates to about 1.25% for each of those 40,000 households. What if five or ten choose to move because of the burdensome tax rate? Five households leaving would equate to 6.25 % and ten moving to greener pastures would just about qualify as a “mass exodus” since it would reduce the city’s revenue by 12.5 %. And the liberal answer to this catch-22 is to raise taxes some more?

When will logical, reasonable thinkers (yes, even democrats and liberals are capable of minimal thought) finally realize that raising taxes is not always the answer?

~~~

The Porkapalooza Bill

Can you believe that more than 300 Senators and Representatives voted for the 1,071 page “stimulus” bill WITHOUT EVER READING IT!      

How STUPID is that? Who else but our democrat-led 111th Congress would approve the largest spending bill in history without knowing what was in it? Would you?

Let’s say that you are the financial backer of a small business grossing $1 million a year. The general manager comes to you and says that he/she needs an additional $250,000 in order to continue business. The problem is … the general manager won’t divulge the details of what the quarter-million will be spent on – you’re supposed to write him/her a check for $250,000 without any veto power over any unnecessary or frivolous spending? Are you apt to approve? There’s not a funding source around (be it bank, backer, agency, etc.) who’ll approve that “blank check.”

Contrary to popular belief, the buck really stops with the financial funding source, not with the management staff. How would the country have voted? Think we’d have approved?

But nevertheless, our Congressporks committed to spending $800,000,000,000.00 of OUR MONEY on items, mostly unknown to them. Remember, even though our Congressporks forget, that the $800 billion is TAXPAYER MONEY, not money owned by the government. Money that will be FORCABLY TAKEN by the government to fund over one thousand pages of spending.Even the rabid Obama-ites can’t be comfortable with that kind of “management.”Much has already been written about the built-in excesses inherent in the bill and much more will undoubtedly follow.
My main point here is pointing out the LUNACY of approving $800,000,000,000.00 of public funds to be spent for … what? THEY DIDN’T KNOW. Yet they voted to spend OUR money and OUR CHILDREN’S money on programs that will do little to stimulate the economy today, and in some cases, won’t even be in place for 3 or 4 years down the road.

These people have PROVEN that they are not acting in the best interest of their financial backers (US) and should be removed from office.

~~~

Roland Burris
R.I.P. (Resign In Peace)
 
Sometime between the January 8 hearing and February 4, Roland Burris discovered that the FBI had taped at least one of his conversations with the governor’s brother, Rob Blagojevich, who was heading up fundraising for the governor’s re-election campaign.
 

There has been some speculation that the office of U.S. attorney Patrick Fitzgerald, who was using the thousands of hours of tapes that trapped the governor to build his case against Blagojevich, may have, as a courtesy, warned the Burris camp. There has been no comment from either the FBI or Fitzgerald’s office on whether they had contact with Burris or his lawyer.

However, it seems certain that it was the prospect of being exposed as a liar that impelled Burris on February 4 to send a new, “corrected” affidavit to Illinois House Majority Leader Barbara Flynn Currie, chairman of the impeachment committee. In it, he admitted to five separate contacts with Governor Blagojevich’s representatives, including three with the governor’s brother.
 
For reasons that seem unbelievable, Rep. Currie sat on Burris’s updated affidavit, never releasing it to the press. It wasn’t until the Chicago Sun Times somehow got wind of the story and confronted Burris on February 13 with his altered testimony that Burris gave the newspaper a copy of the affidavit which the Sun Times published the next day.
 

Burris told the Sun Times that he refused to raise any money for the governor and that he personally would not donate any cash to get Blagojevich re-elected. But then, he immediately had to backtrack when at a news conference on February 15, Burris admitted that he had actually phoned fat cats trying to get them to contribute to Blagojevich’s campaign.

Then, to add to his miseries, a group of black ministers who previously supported U.S. Sen. Roland Burris now plan to ask for his resignation, one of the ministers told The Associated Press on Thursday. Many of the city's influential black pastors supported Burris because of his “scandal-free reputation” — even though he was appointed by then-Gov. Rod Blagojevich after the governor was arrested.

And now as a final straw, Governor Quinn has called for Burris to “step aside and resign from the office.”

Burris has proved that he can't keep his story straight about the nature and extent of his contacts with Blagojevich's operatives -- the issue that overshadowed his appointment from the beginning.

It is becoming more and more evident that Mr. Burris is not to be trusted. Here is another example of how Mr. Burris has difficulty in being honest and forthright. This occurred right before he was named to fill the empty senate seat.

“Mr. Burris said at a news conference Saturday that he only wants to serve the remaining two years of Obama’s term, and would not plan to run for re-election.”

Source: New York Times, December 14, 2008, 12:24 pm - article titled:Guessing Game on Blagojevich’s Future” By Sharon Otterman

However, after saying that in December, he changed his mind. According to Federal Election Commission records, on January 2, 2009, prior to being sworn in to the Senate, Burris signed a statement of candidacy for the 2010 election.

Are we surprised? Nah, he’s just another “typical” Chicago politician.

~~~

 Ya Gotta Love Ted
 
 
Ted Nugent
Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan, was being interviewed by a French journalist, an animal rights activist.

The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, 'What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, "Are you my friend?" or is it "Are you the one who killed my brother?"

Nugent replied, "Deer aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, where am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away! They are very much like the French."
 
Thanx to my buddy Rock who sent me this one.
 
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Political Hemorrhoids

Obama said “I won.”

It’s true, he did win. And yes, he has a mandate from the electorate. According to the definition of the word, any election win is a mandate:

man·date noun (plural man·dates) - support from electorate: the authority bestowed on a government or other organization by an electoral victory, effectively authorizing it to carry out the policies for which it campaigned

So, I’ll accept that Obama has a “mandate” from the electorate to carry out his policies (distasteful as that is).

But does a 9,522,083 vote win mean that the 59,934,814 that didn’t vote for him should be ignored? Do almost 60,000,000 voters become second-class citizens because they voted for someone else? Ignoring them can easily be construed as a form of retaliation, can’t it? He is supposed to be a President of the country, not just those who voted for him.

Let’s put his win in perspective. Obama won by the combined populations of New York City and Dallas, TX. That puts some perspective on the size of his win. Remember, we only have to turn about 10,000,000 people to put someone else in office in 2012; only about 7 % of those voting.

But now the democrats are embolden and beginning to push their pet projects, the first being their distribution of taxpayer funds to pay for votes they purchased in the 2008 elections, a classic quid pro quo situation.

What we’ve seen so far – just since January 20th – looks ominous. A number of major proposals that are, or will be, presented in bills are enough to give a conservative a searing, burning case of political hemorrhoids.

Get your inflatable doughnuts ready and follow along:

Political Hemorrhoid #1 - The Census Bureau.

The Census Bureau is an agency within, and under the jurisdiction of, the Department of Commerce or, at least it was BO (Before Obama).

Last week, an administration official revealed that the yet-to-be-named director of the Census Bureau will report to Rahm Emanuel (Obama’s Chief of Staff) widely known to be an uber-partisan, instead of Commerce Secretary nominee Judd Gregg.


The decision was made last week after California Rep. Barbara Lee, chair of the Congressional Black Caucus, and Hispanic groups complained to the White House that Judd Gregg, the Republican senator from New Hampshire slated to head Commerce, couldn't be trusted to conduct a complete Census. The National Association of Latino Officials said it had "serious questions about his willingness to ensure that the 2010 Census produces the most accurate possible count." Oh, so Rahm Emanuel can be trusted to be completely objective?

The main reason that the black and Hispanic groups were against Gregg is that he was against a “re-evaluation” of the Census hard count in order to introduce adjustment of results through sampling and computer modeling. Ostensibly, these “adjustments” would increase black and Hispanic counts in order to compensate for under-counts.

There is a 1999 Supreme Court ruling that would make sampling-based adjustment difficult in the absence of compelling evidence that the customary hard count would be less credible. And that evidence not only is lacking, but a three year statistical study that was finished in 2003 to respond to this issue concluded just the opposite: adjusting the Census numbers through sampling and computer models could lead to a less credible Census result. A hard count has always been legally defensible. A fuzzy “adjusted” Census, where figures at the Census tract and block level would be plainly erroneous in many cases could invite endless litigation.

Since its inception, the Census Bureau has reported to the Commerce Secretary. The Obama administration is ending the Census Bureau's traditional (and necessary) autonomy and is now introducing the opportunity for political skullduggery.

The U.S. census - a counting of the U.S. population - is conducted every 10 years by the Commerce Department. Its results determine the decennial redrawing of congressional districts.

Now, why would Rahm Emanuel want the Census under his control in the White House? Huh? Why might that be? "There's only one reason to have that high level of White House involvement," a career professional at the Census Bureau says, "and it's called politics, not science."

As a matter of impact, the census has tremendous political significance. Political parties are always eager to have a hand in redrawing districts so that they can maximize their own party's clout while minimizing the opposition, this is called gerrymandering.

The census also determines the composition of the Electoral College, which chooses the president. If one party were to control the census, it could perpetuate its hold on political power.

The results of the census are also enormously important in another way - the allocation of federal funds. Theoretically, a political party could disproportionately steer federal funding to areas dominated by its own members through a skewing of census numbers. 

What Obama is proposing "takes something that is supposedly apolitical like the census, and gives it to a guy who is infamously political," Rep. Rob Bishop, R-Utah said of Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, who would be tasked with overseeing the census at the White House.

Joseph Stalin said: “Those who cast the votes decide nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything.” The same principle applies to the census.

This action is another step taken by the democrats to maintain control of Congress indefinitely – perhaps, if they’re successful, permanently.

An 2/12/2009 update: Senator Gregg has withdrawn his nomination as Commerce Secretary, citing "irresolvable conflicts" with President Barack Obama's handling of the economic stimulus and 2010 census.

~~~

Political Hemorrhoid #2 - FOCA, The Freedom Of Choice Act.

Nearly two years ago, the public debate over abortion was irrevocably altered. In the landmark Gonzales v. Carhart decision, the U.S. Supreme Court upheld the federal ban on partial-birth abortion and, more importantly, abdicated, at least in part, its role as a de facto “Abortion Control Board.”

In its decision, the Court signaled an increasing willingness to blunt attempts by abortion extremists to use the federal courts to impose their radical agenda. The immediate reaction of activists and some members of Congress confirmed the view that the court decision effectively stripped them of their most effective weapon in forcing abortion “rights” on the population.

Recognizing that the federal courts would no longer be a reliable tool for actualizing their demands for unlimited and unregulated abortion, abortion supporters began to look elsewhere for the means to advance their radical agenda.

In late April 2007, Obama along with Senator Hillary Clinton and others, re-introduced the federal Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA), a radical attempt to enshrine abortion-on-demand into American law, to sweep aside existing laws that the majority of Americans support - such as requirements that licensed physicians perform abortions, fully-informed consent, and parental involvement -and to prevent states from enacting similar protective measures in the future.

More importantly, FOCA is a cynical attempt to prematurely end the debate over abortion and declare “victory” in the face of mounting evidence that (a) the American public does not support the vast majority of abortions being performed in the U.S. each year and (b) abortion has a substantial negative impact on women.

Although expressing as its goal the simple codification of Roe, FOCA also expressly provided that it would apply “to every Federal, State, and local statute, ordinance, regulation, administrative order, decision, policy, practice, or other action enacted, adopted, or implemented before, on, or after the date of enactment.” “Before, on, or after,” that pretty much covers everything doesn’t it? As Senator Boxer eloquently explained in 2004, “FOCA [will] supersede all other laws,” especially those that the Supreme Court has held to be constitutional under Roe and its progeny.

FOCA creates a new and dangerously radical “right.” It establishes the right to abortion as a “fundamental right,” elevating it to the same status as the right to vote and the right to free speech which (unlike the abortion license), are specifically referenced in the U.S. Constitution.

If enacted, FOCA would retroactively be applied to all abortion-related laws and would result in the invalidation of more than 550 federal and state laws.

If implemented, FOCA would invalidate common-sense, protective laws that the majority of Americans support. It will not protect or empower women. Instead, it would protect and promote the abortion industry, sacrifice women and their health to a radical political ideology, and silence the voices of everyday Americans who want to engage in a meaningful public discussion over the availability, safety, and even desirability of abortion. 

Source: Americans United for Life, by Denise M. Burke

~~~

Political Hemorrhoid #3 - The “Stimulus” bill.

I’m not going to spend much time on this aberration since everyone else in the known universe is writing about it. There are just a few points that cry out for special emphasis. For example, what should a stimulus bill do?

By now, it’s apparent that there is a divergence between what the dems intend to accomplish with this bill and what it should do. For Nancy Pelosi and her band of ne’er-do-wells, it is an omnibus spending bill although they are intentionally misleading the uninformed public by calling it an “economic stimulus package.”

The intent of such a bill should be to fund those activities that will put people to work and cut taxes to get money into the public’s hands – more tax cuts and less government spending. It should remove impediments to production, saving and investing. But the bill, as it currently stands, is heavy on spending and light on tax cuts.

First, it is impossible for many of the recipients of this bill to immediately stimulate the stagnant economy. Some funding won’t be in a position to affect the economy until 2-3 years down the road. It’s like planning a dinner party when you’re up to your arse in alligators. Your immediate action should be to save yourself from the ‘gators – worry about the guest seating arrangements later.

And secondly, much of the bill is simply the dems paying off political debts via pork. Obama bristles when asked about the “pork” in the bill. In Obama’s vocabulary (using his definition de jour), “pork” = “specified earmark.” Thus, if there are no specified earmarks, there is no pork. But there is language in the bill directing funds to entities defined in such a way as to leave no doubt as to the intended recipient – it is therefore an earmark even though it isn’t called an earmark.

Exactly what is an “earmark” in the context of its use by congress?

There is not a single specific definition of the term earmark accepted by all

practitioners and observers of the appropriations process, nor is there a standard earmark practice across all 13 regular appropriations bills.

According to the Congressional Quarterly’s American Congressional Dictionary, under the broadest definition “virtually every appropriation is earmarked.” In practice, however, earmarks are generally defined more narrowly, often reflecting procedures established over time that may differ from one appropriation bill to another.

For one bill, an earmark may refer to a certain level of specificity within an account. For other bills, an earmark may refer to funds set aside within an account for individual projects, locations, or institutions. (emphasis mine)

 Source: www.senate.gov

It is plain that there are earmarks in the stimulus bill, whether they’re specified as congressional earmarks or not. There is plainly pork in the bill although Obama won’t admit to it. An animal with a flat snout and a curly tail that makes “oinking” sounds, is a pig - just ‘cause Obama wants to mislead taxpayers and call it a hampster, doesn’t mean it’s not pork.

~~~

Political Hemorrhoid #4 – Our Guns and Ammo.

Second Amendment foes are taking two new and different paths to reach their desired goal – taking guns out of the hands of law-abiding citizens.

One bill filed early this year by U.S. Representative Bobby Rush would require each gun owner to be licensed in order to retain his/her guns. I won’t go into detail about that bill here since it was covered by an earlier post on Pesky Truth. This bill has no co-sponsors at present and is not actively being pushed – hopefully, it will die a natural death.

Here’s a link to that article:

http://garnet92.blogtownhall.com/2009/02/07/hr_45,_assault_on_the_constitution.thtml

The second attack is by way of “encoded ammunition.” There is an e-mail currently making the rounds that makes it sound like this is a fait accompli when it is not. It has not (yet) become law in any state.

Eighteen states have introduced bills to require that the base of each and every bullet and the inside of the cartridge casing would have to be encoded with the same unique identifying number. Each round in a box of ammo would be encoded with the same number. Each box (a unique number) would be registered to the purchaser. The original purchaser would have to maintain a record of a transfer if he/she gave or sold the ammunition to someone else (the tax applicable to the cartridges would apply on any transfer).

This required encoding would apply to all center-fire as well as all rim-fire cartridges. Some even mentioned shotgun ammo, but that seems like an impossible task and not at all realistic.

A tax would be levied on each round of (approximately) 5 cents per cartridge. Re-loading would be abolished so that cartridge cases couldn’t be reused with different (or non-encoded) bullets.

And the worst stipulation is that all un-coded ammunition would be forfeit after a specified time period – typically, two years. Consider that gun owners currently possess hundreds of millions of rounds of ammunition that would become illegal on some specified date. Consider also that American manufacturers produce some 8,000,000,000 (8 billion) rounds each year. All un-encoded ammunition would be confiscated (without compensation) from gun owners on/after a date specified in each state’s law.

In 2007 and 2008, eighteen states introduced bills requiring ammo encoding – so far, none have become law.

Although ammunition encoding is not yet a law in any state, this new attack is presented here to illustrate the length to which the “gun-grabbers” will go to take the guns from American citizens. After all, there’s no need to ban guns if ammunition is expensive and tightly controlled.

Currently, neither of these two approaches are receiving enough support to be of immediate concern – but, we must stay vigilant.
 
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H.R. 45, Assault on the Constitution

H.R. 45, called “Blair Holt’s Firearm Licensing and Record of Sale Act of 2009” is being brought to us by Rep. Bobby Rush (D-IL). Simply put, the law will require a license to own a “qualifying” firearm. A qualifying firearm is defined as every handgun as well as any semi-auto firearm that has a “removable magazine.”

If the bill becomes law, every one of us who already owns a qualifying firearm must apply for a special federal license in order to keep the firearm and stay within the law.

I’ll get into more about the bill later, but first let’s take a look at Rep. Bobbie Rush, the man responsible for this travesty. Following are a few selected tidbits from his biography.

The Author/Sponsor

First elected to the house in 1992, he represents Illinois 1st Congressional District, located principally on the South Side of Chicago – yes, another Chicago politician. His district is a minority-majority district and has a higher percentage of African Americans (65%) than any other congressional district in the nation.

He enlisted in the army in 1963 and joined the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee (remember them?) in 1966 while stationed in Chicago.

He went AWOL in 1968 and co-founded the state’s Black Panther Party. His connection to the Black Panther Party began unraveling shortly after a 1969 police raid resulted in the death of two Black Panthers. Rush had left only hours before the raid. If you have any question about the Black Panthers’ ideology, try this link to their Ten-Point Program:

http://www.marxists.org/history/usa/workers/black-panthers/1966/10/15.htm.

Isn’t it ironic that Bobby Rush, who supposedly was a co-founder of the Black Panthers, apparently doesn’t buy into Point 7 of his own Ten-Point Program in which it’s stated that, “The Second Amendment to the Constitution of the United States gives a right to bear arms. We therefore believe that all Black people should arm themselves for self-defense.”

I saw nothing in H.R. 45 exempting black folks from the licensing requirements – maybe Bobby expects to add an amendment to exempt New Black Panther Party members from its requirements?

Bobby Rush was the “defense secretary” of the black panthers. His own son was a gang banger who got himself killed. Bobby’s nephew killed a guy in a drug deal and in 1969 and Bobby himself served six months in prison for illegal possession of a firearm.

He introduced a bill in 1993 that would have banned handguns for anyone not in law enforcement.

He was a co-sponsor of legislation that calls for congressional hearings to weigh whether the government should provide restitution to descendents of slaves – also see Point 3, one of the tenets of the Black Panther Party’s Ten-Point Program.

The American Conservative Union gave his 2005 voting record 4 points out of a possible 100, while the liberal Americans for Democratic Action gave him 100 points (out of 100).

This is the man who was responsible for the introduction of H.R. 45 on the first day of the current session – thought you should know.

The Bill

Thanks to Bobbie’s publishing the link on the Message Board, the full text of the bill can be found at:

http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-h45/text

H.R. 45 is essentially a reintroduction of H.R. 2666, which Rush introduced in 2007.  H.R. 2666 contained much of the same language as H.R. 45, and was co-sponsored by sixteen well-known anti-gun legislators - including Barack Obama's chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, Charlie Rangel, Barbara Lee, Dennis Kucinich, Alcee Hastings, and Jesse Jackson – the usual suspects.

H.R. 45 currently has no co-sponsors. 

The bill requires (under penalty of fines and/or imprisonment) each gun owner to apply for a special federal license. To secure the license, the applicant must supply a passport-type photograph, name, address, and place of birth, a thumb print, a certification that any firearm will be safely stored and out of possession of persons under the age of 18, an authorization by the applicant to release to the Attorney General or an authorized representative any mental health records pertaining to the applicant and finally, must be dated and signed by the applicant.

Next, the applicant must pass a written firearms exam, testing the knowledge and ability of the applicant regarding safe storage, safe handling, the use of firearms in the home and associated risks, the legal responsibilities of firearms owners as required by all applicable Federal, State, and local laws. And, as if that weren’t enough, any other subject as the Attorney General determines to be appropriate.

Then, if you manage to pass through all of the filters imposed by the bill, you’re issued a tamper-resistant license good for five years. The original fee for securing a license is “not to exceed” $25.00. There is no limit specified for a renewal – supposed they decided to increase the renewal fee to $1,000?

The bill makes it illegal to sell or receive, deliver or otherwise transfer, a qualifying firearm to anyone who is not a licensed importer, manufacturer, dealer, collector, or individual. A sale or transfer must go through a licensed dealer who verifies (through contact with the Attorney General) that the receiving party is licensed. A record of the sale or transfer must contain a tracking number issued by the Attorney General as evidence that the transaction has been verified through the licensing system.

The records created by a sale or transfer will include all information necessary to identify the firearm, the name of the individual who is transferring the firearm and the name of the transferee.

And get this - HR 45 has an innocent-looking line that says “strike the second sentence of 18 USC 926(a).” That's the line that says the federal government cannot make a central registry of gun owners. Simply by removing that line, H.R. 45 establishes a permanent national gun owner registry.

Criminal penalties range from fines (not specified) and/or two years imprisonment up to ten years imprisonment, depending on which provision was violated.

Under HR 45, if you can't pass a complex test written by the U.S. Attorney General, pay the fee, give up fingerprints and a biometric-capable photo of yourself (that can be turned into a digital facial-recognition number and used as a de facto national ID), every gun you own will become contraband and subject to confiscation, while you stand trial before imprisonment.

Now that the Supreme Court has made it clear in the Heller case that government can't ban guns, the Brady's have stopped saying they want to ban guns. So the virtually treasonous Bobby Rush bill doesn't ban guns, it bans gun owners, maybe by the millions. How many gun owners read poorly or don't test well? How many can't explain local, state and federal gun laws? They'd become prohibited possessors under HR 45. Are there any limits to what the AG can put on the test? The bill doesn't mention any - it gives the AG a free hand to include anything (what’s the square root of silly putty?).

And if there’s any question about Obama’s new Attorney General Eric Holder, he has already told the Supreme Court that a total gun ban in your own home is just fine and doesn't violate the Bill of Rights.

Maybe you've noticed that virtually none of this addresses criminals or crimes. Innocent gun owners are the target. This is about controlling the public and its private constitutionally protected property. Criminals are guaranteed to ignore the entire plan, and in fact, criminals CANNOT apply, since they can't possess firearms in the first place.

How much will it cost to implement and maintain the functionality of this bill while at the same time, effectively throwing out the 2nd Amendment?

Parts of this post were lifted from an article written by Alan Korwin, in the Prescott, AZ Read It News, February 1, 2009.
 
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My Sincere Appreciation

Some may think this hokey – obviously, I don’t. This post is an unabashed public “thank you” to all who have visited my blog, Pesky Truth – and especially to those who left comments.

While I can’t speak for all bloggers, I believe that the vast majority of us maintain a blog because we have something to say. In blogging, we now have a mechanism that allows us to publish our thoughts, our concerns, or even what makes us laugh - an opportunity that has only become widely available in recent years.

For me, I’d still write even without a public outlet. I find that the mere exercise of writing about a subject yields tangible benefits, not the least of which is usually research on, and analytical thought given to, details related to the subject. In other words, the exercise of creating a new post generally results in a more informed position on the subject.

So, even though I (we) do get personal satisfaction out of publishing a post on a subject about which I (we) feel strongly, it is much more rewarding to know that others are reading it. Whether readers agree or disagree, the feedback is important – and fun.

Since my first post on June 30, 2008, I’ve been pleased to see my readership increase. My first eleven posts got NO comments at all. Now, at least I have evidence that some are reading what I write – and that is very satisfying.

A sincere thinks to all who visit (and comment) on Pesky Truth.
 
And now, on a lighter note (thanks to my friend Rock)
 
I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to

the currency exchange window at my local bank. There was a short line ... Just one lady in front of me.

She was an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars,

and she was more than a little irritated.

She asked the teller, "Why it chane??

Yesterday, I get two huna dolla fo yen. Today I get Huna eighty??

Why it chane, why it chane?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations".

The Asian lady says, "fluc you white people, too".

 

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The Sensitive Man

This is another funny sent to me by my old friend and fellow geezer, Marvin.

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall!

It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.

There were small bears all along the bottom shelf,
medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf,
and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.

She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears.

She is quite impressed by his sensitive side, but doesn't mention this to him. They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after awhile, she finds herself thinking, 'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father of my children?'

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly. They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy monkey-love.

She is like a woman possessed. She does things outlawed in some states. She pulls out all the stops to please this man. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more lust and passion than she had ever known!

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion, they are lying there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly,

'Well, how was it?'

The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says:
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Help yourself to any prize ... ... ... from the middle shelf."
 
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Obamadinejad & Ahmadinejad, an update

The following is a cut/paste of a post I published on July 22, 2008. In it, I postulated on how negotiations between then-candidate (now president) Obama and the leader of the Iranian HateAmericaOCrats, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, might transpire if they actually met face-to-face.

~~~

“Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has taken a hard line with the European powers and with the U.N. … and it’s working. He’s buying time; he knows that no one (short of Israel) is going to attack him. He can continue to thumb his nose at the world, with little chance of negative consequences. Even when countries are finally fed up with Iran’s posturing, the most he can expect will be a few additional sanctions.

Ahmadinejad won’t go to the bargaining table with Obama thinking that he’ll have to make concessions. He’ll go in with a hard-line position and wait to see what kind of “carrot(s)” Obama will offer so the negotiations could be touted as a “success.” Iran will be smart (from their perspective) to refuse to make any meaningful concession. Since Obama will yield, and make no mistake, Obama will yield. He’ll ease existing sanctions, send them a few billion “foreign aid” dollars, and give them nuclear power technology, if they’ll just refrain from developing a nuke.

They’ll agree, and Obama will revel in his own magnificence, believing that he’d shown the world that negotiation did work – he was right all along. He’d played showdown with Satan himself and won. People will see his face on burnt toast and in rock formations, and the faithful will pray to him. “Obama Akbar” will become a common salutation among the left, replacing “know wat ahm sayin?” in the vernacular.

But Iran will continue their program, fully aware that they’d faked Obama out of his shorts, and in another year or so, there’ll be a nuclear test. They’ve just upped the ante. Now what, President Obama? Negotiate some more?

If Israel doesn’t take them out first, it’s inevitable. And guess what? Obama will blame it all on Bush.”

~~~

This reprise was prompted by a story that I read today (2/2/2009) on Breitbart (by AFP, dated 1/31/2009), reporting that “Obama has begun discreet talks with Iran, Syria.” These were “high-level but discreet talks,” according to Jeffrey Boutwell, an official of the Pugwash group, an international organization of scientists which won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1995.

I believe that Obama will want something that he can claim as a success so badly that he will give Ahmadinejad anything short of keys to the honor bar. And something touted as a “success,” a “breakthrough,” or a “softening of Iran’s hard-line policy” will be announced, and that success will justify our relaxation of sanctions and whatever other concessions he used to buy the words.

This, notwithstanding Mahmoud’s latest rants calling for the U.S. to apologize for our transgressions, our “crimes” against Iran. I also believe that Obama will agree to wording of such an “apology” that Ahmadinejad can tout as “America apologizing” while at the same time, Obama will publicly deny that any such apology was issued.

Seriously, how great must Obama’s delusion of his own capabilities be to assume that he (Obama) can succeed when all of the experienced, high-level diplomats of the U.S., the European Union and the U.N. have failed to move Iran one millimeter off of its advancement towards becoming a nuclear power?

He won’t succeed, he’ll just be arrogant, egotistical, and naive enough to believe that he did and so will his mesmerized followers.

But Ahmadinejad knows better, and he’ll just keep on truckin’ until he has the bomb. Then the “fit will hit the shan” and Obama will  deny any responsibility and blame Boosh.

And you can “take that to the (failed) bank.”
 
Another update, Feb. 3, 2009: 

Obama’s statements have placed him not in a pickle, but totally immersed at the bottom of the pickle jar. He really thought that the other U.S., EU, and UN diplomats were so far below Obama’s masterful capabilities, that his immense brainpower and personal charm would bowl over Ahmadinejad and convince him to “play nice.”

Well, that pesky Ahmadinejad just shot him the finger and raised the ante to play.

 

Ahmadinejad has not changed his tune. Since Obama took office Jan. 20, Ahmadinejad has repeatedly said accommodation with the U.S. is dependent not upon Obama's willingness to engage in direct talks with Iran, but upon fundamental changes in U.S. policy. The changes include a willingness to withdraw the U.S. military from Iraq and Afghanistan and drop support for Israel. That position was reiterated again recently and showed no softening of Iran’s policy.

Oh woe, oh sorrow, what is Barack to do?

Stay tuned - reports of Obama’s concessions will surely come.
 

 
 
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Edgar Allen Poe's Raven (Satire starring Obama)

I stumbled upon a reference to Edgar Allen Poe’s Raven the other day and remembered my fond memories of the poem. In this case, “fond” is perhaps not exactly truthful – it seems that I was required to memorize the poem as punishment in high school for some long-forgotten action.

But, I’ve always marveled at the construction of the poem (the beat, if you will). It’s technically called “trochaic octameter” (whatever that means) and is pretty unusual in its formula – and difficult to mimic.

Following is an updated version of Poe’s masterpiece (admittedly, a hack job) as I finally had to say “nevermore.” I could go on for a few more days cleaning and polishing – making it better no doubt – but I’ve got to move on to other things.

So, here is my version (Obama playing the part of the raven), I hope you enjoy it.
 
 

The Raven, modified

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I worried, weak and weary,
Over the sad unknowing voting of Barack Obama’s corps,
Alone I suffered, almost crying, as I harkened back to lying,
His minion’s lying and evading, fabricating more and more
“It was an aberration,” I concluded, “a job for which he is not suited”
I pray it’s only one term, and never, never more.
 
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in this past November,
When truth’s final dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I sought tomorrow, with all its hope; deprived of sorrow,
Some solace I sought to borrow, to pass me through a hopeful door
To contentment that I now desired, a hope to which I now aspired,
To hear Obama never more. 
                   
When then the silken sad uncertain rustling of a voting curtain
Thrilled me with a notion certain, that a win could be in store.
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
I made my mark, my resolve stronger, to hear of hope and change no more,
Only that - and that I swore.
 
But later on the morrow, the news I heard filled me with sorrow,
Filled me with agonizing sorrow never felt before.
So that now, to mend the breaking of my heart, I stood repeating,
Tis some politician entreating entrance at the White House door.
Some sleazy politician gaining entrance through the White House door.
Fearing for our future, ever more.
 
Deep into my darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming nightmares no one ever dreamed before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
Until a word there spoken came the whispered word, "Savior."
A sacred, hallowed whisper that bespoke religious lore.
But he is a mortal man, a man and nothing more.
 
Back into my chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a whisper somewhat louder than before.
“I am the president,” it stated, words to me that I so hated,
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore,
Let me see then whence it came from and this mystery explore.
It was Barack Obama, no one more.
 
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what he utters is his only stock and store.”
I vow his words will not defeat me, but encourage and entreat me,
To fight on even stronger than those that fought the fight before.
I pray that he will not succeed, in planting Socialistic seed,
And we will fill our country’s need, a tally different than before.
So say the voters, never more.
 
With heartfelt apologies to Edgar Allen Poe!
 
Tags: obama   Satire  
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Obama – the Franchise [Satire]

Pesky Truth has learned of plans to fill Obama’s campaign coffers with billions (that’s right, billions) in preparation for a 2012 re-election campaign for the presidency and to fund “encouraging” world leaders to unanimously proclaim him “Exalted Grand Poobah” of the United Nations – a job to which he is known to aspire.

Obama’s marketing staff was asked to develop plans to take full advantage of the Obama brand to create revenue. This had to be done right away – before people saw through Obama’s façade of infallibility. The usual T-shirts, coffee mugs, and ball caps were set aside in search of something more “Metrobamic.”

Ollie Garky, one of the more creative MBAs on the team, had an idea and had run countless proof-of-concept scenarios and kept getting the same results. They were consistent and definite. Numbers don’t lie, and the numbers told him that the most profitable single option was to sell Obama franchises.

When questioned as to how an individual (especially a unique, iconic, god-like, genius intellect like Barack Hussein Obama) could be franchised, Garky was ready. “Obviously, you can’t recreate multiple president O’bamas – but we can license his image and likeness, catchphrases attributed to him, and anything he’s ever said.”

“And get this: we’ll even trademark any word ending in ‘bama’.” We’ve already filed papers in district court to force the State of Alabama to change its name. We’ll lose in every lower court, but we’ll prevail when it gets to the Supreme court” (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). “They’ll be forced to change the state’s name to something like Ala-fornia, or Ala-nois, or Ala-sippi – who cares, we’ll own the “bama” suffix.”

A competitor for the top executive spot, Ms. Meg Nettick, took exception to some of Garky’s ideas, pointing out how anti-Obama forces could use some of the aspects of franchise conditions against him.

But this is where Garky’s concept convinced the group – he proposed that two separate companies be created, one to sell franchises to use the Obama brand in a positive format, and a second company that would market distinctly different franchise collateral to anti-Obama entities. “When we control both the pro message and the con message, we can squeeze everyone else out and create income every time someone mentions Obama.”

“The best that any competitor’s campaign can do without infringing on our trademarks is to refer to him as ‘that guy’.”

It was decided that “’Yes, We Can, LLC’ and ‘No, he can’t, LLC’ would be the internal code names for the public companies. Obviously, the entities’ final legal names would have to reflect input from focus groups, studies, and surveys. ObamaRama, LLC would be the holding company.

ObamaRama would control all aspects of the brand’s use. After buying a franchise license, the franchisee would cover all expenses of his/her particular endeavor and pay a percentage of the revenue income to O’Rama. Gorky’s revenue projections forecast 200 million the first year, and at least double each year thereafter. By the end of two terms, Obama was expected to rival Warren Buffet and Bill Gates for the title of “the country’s richest man.”

~~~

The first franchise contract is set to be signed on January 31, 2009 and oddly, is an anti-Obama 501(c)(3) called “MoveOut.org,” which is devoted to ousting him from the White House in the 2012 elections. Their political ads are hard-hitting and bordering on “negative,” but were very professionally produced. We note that the ad titles were spin-offs of familiar slogans. The initial list of ads included both 15 sec. spots and longer 30 sec. placements.

  • Home of the Golden Aches
  • Tax Great, Less Filing
  • You Can’t Do it, I Won’t Help
  • He Keeps Lying … and Lying … and Lying
  • Reach Out and Tax Someone
  • We Make Money the Old Fashioned Way, We Take It
  • The Ultimate Obfuscation Machine
  • The Other Half-White Meat
  • It’s Not My Economy, Stupid
  • Socialism is Job One
  • Read My Lips; No New Tax Cuts

What a brilliant concept, Obama makes money even when his opposition bashes him!

~~~

Another of the earliest franchises awarded was to a songwriting and publishing house “Rodgers and Obamastein.” They specialize in the country music genre and expect to produce Hi-def Blu-Ray videos of Obama singing country songs. Some of the visuals include an Obama look-alike dressed as a metro-cowboy (hat, boots, nose-ring, etc.) singing to Michelle, Obama singing to an intern wearing a stained blue dress, and Obama singing to Chris Matthews. All are available for download at iTunes. Some of the titles* on the original album release include:

  • I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
  • My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love You
  • You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
  • I Sold A Car To A Guy Who Stole My Girl,
    But It Don't Run, So We're Even
  • I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself or Go Bowling
  • Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure
  • Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth Cause I'm Kissing You Good-bye
  • If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me

~~~

But, the most unusual among the early franchisees was … a church.

The “Yasswiccan United Assembly of One” church is a new-age religion based on the teachings of His Infallible Oneness, Obamassiah.

The church will be headquartered in Chicago, but will soon open branches throughout the country. Church authorities were reluctant to discuss the church’s deeply-held beliefs until a final blessing of their business plan by their attorneys Belch, Bloat, and Gassey, LLC.”

Unsubstantiated rumors claim the church only solicits attractive college coeds as members (men consistently fail the physical). Flock members receive stipends for participating in weekend Obamagational activities.

The most disturbing part of the rumor is that the entire clergy are said to be wealthy, middle-aged and older men; “Lay Ministers” as it were, who tend the flock.

Reports allege that the “Lay Ministers” become ordained as a byproduct of purchasing church building bonds. A bond authorizes the “minister” to interact with the flock and to minister to their needs. Church leaders vehemently deny any inappropriate conduct. “All flocking around is entirely appropriate under our Yasswiccan charter,” said church spokesman, Elder Hugh Hefner, Membership Director.

~~~

A book publisher, Simon Und Shutree, has attained a franchise and will publish three new self-help books by Barack:

  • Community Organizing for Fun and Profit
  • Bidding Strategy When Buying a U.S. Senate Seat
  • Elections: How To Fake Sincerity and Win

~~~

One of the most controversial franchises has to be Sweet Hiney Beer. The company has developed a patented process to recycle urine back into beer. Though they acknowledge that the procedure initially sounds repulsive, but when the process is fully understood, focus groups warmed to the idea.

A relatively simple process sanitizes the urine and replaces the trace components with a malt/hops/yeast concentrate. This allows the beer to be sold at about 50% of the price of “new” beer. The taste is said to be on par with popular brands.

Marketing will ramp up during the first quarter of 2009 with national distribution by the end of the year. Marketing Director, Pottu Peain revealed the firm’s marketing slogan, “I can’t wait to get my hands on some Sweet Hiney” at a Friday news conference announcing the nationwide campaign.   

Formed to take advantage of Obama’s planned Beer Cap and Trade program, their recycling process is classified as “green” which earned Sweet Hiney a waiver excluding their product from the program’s cap and trade restrictions.

Under Obama’s Beer Cap and Trade, any establishment selling beer must cap an individual’s purchases at 2 beers unless the patron has a valid Beer Credit License. Buying a Beer Credit License certifies that the licensor has contributed financial support to green urine farms where specially cultivated algae convert ponds of urine into Mountain Dew.
 
 
Tags: obama   Satire  
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The Peter Principle, Run Amok

In 1968, before some of you were born, Dr. Laurence J. Peter and Raymond Hull wrote a book called, The Peter Principle. The premise was (and still is) that in an organizational structure, an employee is considered for a promotion based on performance in their current job.

Did I miss something? Did we just elect Barack Hussein Obama to the office of President of the United States based on his performance as U.S. Senator? I don’t think so. He was already waaay past his level of incompetence. He was elected primarily because he is black and that fact cannot be refuted.

This means that members of a hierarchical organization eventually are promoted to their highest level of competence, after which further promotion raises them to incompetence. That level is the employee's "level of incompetence" where the employee has no chance of further promotion, thus reaching his or her career's ceiling in an organization.

Obama’s last level of partial competence was community organizer – and even that is debatable. Take Emil Jones (his benefactor and President of the Illinois Senate) out of the picture and Barack’s tenure in the Illinois Senate would have been average, at best. We have promoted Obama to the TOP of the country’s hierarchy, skipping several levels, any of which would have exposed his lack of qualifications for the next level.

The employee's incompetence is not necessarily exposed as a result of the higher-ranking position being more difficult — simply, that job is different from the job in which the employee previously excelled, and thus requires different work skills, which the employee usually does not possess. For example, a factory worker's excellence in his job can earn him promotion to manager, at which point the skills that earned him his promotion no longer apply to his job.
 
At which job had Obama previously excelled? Seriously, I’d really like to know.
 

Where exceptions to this exist, the scenario switches to the "Septic Tank Principle" which is broadly similar but is usually described as "excrement rising to the top".


Need I say more?
 
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Doomsday,1,436 Days* and Counting

Until what?

Until the end of the world as we know it, that’s what.

If we could count on it, we retirees could start spending money that we’d squirreled away. If that money wasn’t necessary to keep beans on the table for the next ten or twenty years or so, why not spend it? We can’t take it with us. And the result of that explosion of spending would be a financial kick in the pants for our economy.

Who knew … that all it would take was the end of the world to provide an economic boost to all of the economies on the planet?You can believe that the next four years would be different if we came to believe that on the twenty-first of December in 2012, our world would end.

Why would we need extended warranties? Twenty-year guaranteed water heaters or roofing shingles are no longer a good buy. Why not get married? It’s no longer a lifetime commitment. We wouldn't need term limits or 30-year mortgages, why diet, why exercise, why abstain from anything? If it feels good - DO IT! This could go on and on.

We’ve always had the “soothsayers” saying all manner of sooth about the imminent end of the world, so what’s different about this new year, 2012, and a specific date, December 21?

Probably more than you wanted to know – but surely enough to run a chill up your spine.

The following predictions/statements/facts, etc. do have a consistency of referencing the same year for all manner of catastrophes, with the mother of all catastrophes – the end of the world – as the centerpiece.

The Maya civilization, known for advanced writing, mathematics and astronomy, flourished for centuries in Mesoamerica. They developed a number of extremely accurate calendars, including a “long count” calendar which was used to identify dates far into their future – the calendar has been extremely accurate for 5,128 years since its beginning … only it ends on December 21, 2012. No more dates after that … it just stops … on December 21, 2012 (cue spooky music here).

On the Mayan Long Calendar the day designated as 4 Ahau 3 Kankin (13.0.0.0.0) falls on December 21, 2012 and this day will mark "El Fin de los Tiempos" or the end of the long cycle at which time humanity will experience a new beginning. On this day, according to the Mayas and subsequent Meso-American civilizations, the return of Kukulcan (Quetzalcoatl) will take place.

There is an incomplete inscription (Tortuguero Monument 6) that records this date. It is also to be found carved on the walls of the Temple of Inscriptions in Palenque, where it functions as a base date from which other dates are computed.

The ancient Mayan astronomers accurately predicted, over 1500 years ago, the precise alignment of the Earth, the Sun, the star cluster Pleiades and of the center of our Galaxy (Hunab Ku) that will take place at the end of the present long cycle on the Gregorian year 2012, on December 21st, at 11:11 universal time.

Note that according to the U.S. Naval Observatory (the official timekeeper for the United States), the winter solstice in 2012 will occur at 11:11 UT on December 21 … exactly (more spooky music).

The Hopi Indians have a prophetic tradition dating back thousands of years. They believe that there were three previous worlds and the accounts of the ending of each of those worlds were as prophecy foretold. We are currently living in the “Fourth World” which the Hopis believe is the last world, and will be purged by fire (called the “Great Purification”). According to Hopi elders, events have already occurred that were said to be part of the “final stage” leading up to the Purification and end of the Fourth World. They say, the end is nigh.

The date December 22, 2012 is the End of the I Ching calendar according to Ethnobotanists and fractal time experts Terrence and Dennis McKenna. They present their ideas in “Invisible Landscape: Mind Hallucinogens and the I Ching” (1993). The McKenna brothers, by matching the levels of patterns with key periods in history, have identified the end of the I Ching time scale as December 22, 2012. This is the only point in which the level of novelty reaches its maximum, and everything that happens from that point on is new.

The term “novelty” is characterized as a culmination of multiple events, each of which is unusual and rare, coming together into an entirely new and unique event – never having before occurred.

Nostradamus and the Book of Revelations reference similar events that culminate in the 2012 timeframe – although not specific to the December date. These have to do with a comet or planet (or parts thereof) impacting with the earth, raining down fire from the sky. Nostradamus includes a reference to 45 degrees latitude in his “fire from the sky” quatrain – incidentially, New York City happens to be at 45 degrees latitude.

The Book of Revelations (chapter 8) speaks of a comet or planet that brings great destruction upon the world and triggers WW III. Revelations gives no specific date as to when this event will happen. But, the BIBLE CODE does seem to give a date when a previously unknown comet/planet will impact the Atlantic Ocean and flood NYC, between 2010 and 2012 AD.

According to the prophecies of St. Malachy, who was born in 1094, the line of Pontiffs has come to an end. St. Malachy, canonized by by Pope Clement III on July 6, 1199, undertook to list in advance the proper succession of Roman pontiffs from Celestine II to "the end of the world". St. Malachy prophesied that there would be 112 Popes after Celestine II. John Paul II was number 110. Pope Benedict XVI is the current pope at number 111. The next pope would be the "False Prophet" mentioned in St. John's Revelation and who will deliver the Roman Catholic Church to Satan. Number 112 will NOT be a legitimate Pope. He will be the "Grand Anti-Pope" or the Anti-Christ who is also known as the "Abomination that Causes Desolation" mentioned in Daniel 9:27, 11:31, 12:11 and Matthew 24:15 and Mark 13:14.

In a recent report, NASA predicts a sharp increase in the number of sunspots and sun flares, peaking in 2012, said to surely cause electrical failures and satellite disruptions. The sun is currently near minimum on its 11-year activity cycle, the report explains, but is expected to produce solar storms that will increase in intensity and frequency as it approaches peak activity levels in 2012.

The NASA report warns that if the sun's activity over the next few years flares to the level of the May 1921 "superstorm" or the so-called Carrington event of 1859, a "perfect storm" that Space.com called "the most powerful onslaught of solar energy in recorded history," the U.S. may not be equipped to handle the damages.

The report listed possible cascading effects of a major solar storm as "disruption of the transportation, communication, banking and finance systems, and government services; the breakdown of the distribution of potable water owing to pump failure, and the loss of perishable foods and medications because of a lack of refrigeration." In addition, the researchers warn, "Emergency services would be strained, and command and control might be lost."

And what about the “coincidental” alignment of Sun, Moon and the earth - centered in the Milky Way galaxy on December 21, 2012? This is the alignment that was predicted by the Mayans over 1500 years ago. It is significant because gravitational release of hidden asteroids can take place.

That means that if there is a lose asteroid in a stealth path, it could deviate from its path and come towards the earth. The biggest problem with the terrestrial science is that we cannot see these stealth asteroids till they hit us or go past us.

There’s lots more from Edgar Cayce, Albert Einstein, and even Merlin (the sorcerer) but their predictions about polar shifting and fire raining down from the sky can be interpreted to fall into a 2012 timeframe, but there are no specific mentions of the year 2012.

Is any/all of this true?

It is true that these people actually said these things, that’s pretty well documented. It is not true that we can be assured that all of these predictions will happen. If you are intrigued by these theories, the Internet is a source of unending information (over 71,000,000 hits on “December 2012”).

I found the “coincidence” interesting – that so many had zeroed in on December, 2012 (never mind the 21st) as a time of catastrophe on earth.

Will December, 2012 end up being like January, 2000 – a non-event?

Who knows … (cue spooky music again).
*As calculated by the “Doomsday” countdown at http://www.twelve2012.com/
 
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The Big Three Automaker’s Bailout [Satire]

Big Three Automakers Get Ultimatum

Detroit, MI, December 29, 2008

On Monday, sources close to the Obama administration-elect released details of a plan to transform the auto industry. To qualify for taxpayer bailout funding, the Big Three automakers would have to agree to a reorganization plan developed by the DNC brain-trust (an obvious oxymoron).

The plan calls for GM, Ford, and Chrysler to stop production of all current automobile models and instead re-tool for entirely new replacement products. The industry will be required to standardize on only three automobiles. Each “Victory Car” will be based on an older production model but be reduced in size – somewhat shorter and narrower, and be limited in power. The name “Victory Car” was chosen to celebrate the automobile industry’s victory over taxpayers.

Each company will build a single model. Each model will be designed to address a specific volume and price point. The low price/high volume model will be manufactured by Ford. The mid-priced/medium volume model will be built by Chrysler, and the high-priced/low volume vehicle will be produced by GM.

Standardizing on only three vehicles will allow companies to reduce production costs and become more profitable.

The low-end model (internally code named the “Bean”) would be based on the 1971 Ford Pinto. Ford still has the tools and dies for the Pinto, thereby reducing costs and enabling the company to begin production quickly. Briggs and Stratton has been selected to provide engines for the new Pinto Bean.

The second new model will re-employ assembly lines that previously produced the 1973 AMC Gremlin. After buying AMC in 1987, Chrysler moved the production facilities to a Guadalajara, Mexico plant where the Gremlin is still manufactured today under the name “Coche Malo” (which loosely translated means “crappy car”).

The third model will be based on a scaled-down version of a 1950 Buick Roadmaster. Complete with the trademark four portholes and toothy grille, the low volume auto will appeal to the discriminating buyer. The original Buick’s straight-eight engine and Dynaflow transmission will be replaced by an Evinrude V-4 making sixty horsepower and a Vespa scooter transmission. An eight-track tape player will be standard equipment on the luxury model.

Since the new downsized models will be shorter and narrower than contemporary automobiles, road lanes, bridges, and parking space requirements will be reduced, giving the effect of adding roadway and parking without any expenditure (other than re-striping).

The savings in fuel usage, highway accidents, and wear on the infrastructure is estimated to amount to $8.3 Billion.

The DNC has undertaken the responsibility to distribute the savings and has awarded itself a ten-percent consulting fee ($830,000,000) for developing the innovative plan with another ten-percent share going to president-elect Obama for his organizational skills during the plan’s development. As an inducement to Congress to pass the legislation, democrat party leaders have also proposed paying a ten-percent bribe bonus to each member of Congress to recognize their creativity and unity in writing and passing the landmark legislation.

When questioned on the arithmetic of awarding ten-percent shares to 537 recipients, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi bristled at the suggestion that the plan “did not compute.” When reminded that there are only ten ten-percents in 100%, she flew into a rage, “The Republicans are just trying to confuse the public with arcane mathematics.” “That sounds like the same old George Bush fiscal mumbo-jumbo; he’s applying his trademark “fuzzy math” to scare ignorant citizens.”

Pelosi’s statement confirms that her intellectual brainpower does not exceed that of potato salad.

Jeff Foxworthy, the host of “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader.” Has challenged Speaker Pelosi to come on his show and take the challenge. Vegas odds makers have established odds of 15-1 that Mrs. Pelosi will not be “smarter than a 5th Grader.”

To test the “does not compute” theory, Pesky Truth put the question to Mrs. Krabappel’s 5th Grade class at the Bart Simpson Talented and Gifted school. They calculated that there would be a shortfall of $437,410,000,000.

So, as is the norm in the world of democrat financial forecasts, there apparently would be a “small” discrepancy between funding and actual costs.

Speaker Pelosi concluded, “If, in the unlikely event that there is a shortfall, I would look to new sources of revenue to raise the funds necessary for a full distribution to all 537 participants.”

Ed. Note: The following is a related article, exposing some of Pelosi’s fund-raising ideas.

New Funding Sources Explored – A Tax That Stinks

Washington, D.C., January 2, 2009

Aides said that the Speaker Pelosi and Senate Leader Harry Reid already have been discussing expandifying (a Bushism) the federal tax on gasoline and adding a new luxury tax on either condoms or condominiums (the aide was unsure which). Senators Kerry and Kennedy have proposed a new environmental pollution fee for citizens caught releasing personal flatulence without first licensing offsetting flatus credits.

Sources suggest that the credits purchased to offset occasions of flatulence would be used to buy neighborhood-sized Air-Wick and Fabreeze air fresheners.

The gas penalty fee is an offshoot of one of former VP Al Gore’s creative proposals for a greener planet. The Gore proposal was based on a study showing that a fully mature, average sized human released an average of 500 ml. of flatulent gas (disbursed) during 14 events each day. The study also found that the flatus from 6.8 billion humans accounted for 3.4 Trillion liters of gas each year – a staggering (and malodorous) environmental pollutant. Thus, he proposed his “Penny a Puff” tax of one-half cent per “event.” Based on 14 events per day, the tax would cost approximately $25.55 annually for each person on the planet. Those third-world inhabitants unable to pay would be bailed out by the American taxpayer.

Feminists have vowed to demonstrate and to promote a national “Not Tonight, I Have a Headache” day to lobby for the exemption of females from the tax since women’s bodies are incapable of producing farts. Skeptical? Just ask any woman for confirmation.

Coincidentally, a single-source government contract has been awarded to a Washington, DC start-up called “Harness the Breaking Wind, LLC.”

Pesky Truth has learned that VP Gore, Senators Kerry, Kennedy, and Reid, and Speaker Pelosi are on the firm’s Board of Directors and that each owns twenty-percent of the company. The company will produce personal fart-scrubber devices that, when worn at all times, would exempt the taxpayer from the “Penny a Puff” tax.

A grassroots group has formed around Libertarian activist Pete Moss, who has formed a 501(c)(3) organization to promote a “Free the Flatus” agenda. The group believes that natural human gasses should not be confined, but should be allowed to roam unfettered in a free-range environment. Mr. Moss announced the organization’s slogan (“If You’ve Got the Smarts, Release the Farts”) at a recent press conference.

More to come on both stories from Pesky Truth’s source imbedded in the Congressional assistant’s secret society, “Band of Aides.”
 
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